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Joke of the Day

"[in space] ASTRONAUT: Up here you can have delusions ME: Haha I don't think so A: They can seem real GANDALF: Don't believe him ME: I don't"

"How Do You Kill An Anorexic? Tell Her To Lose Just One More Pound And She'll Be Beautiful."

"My new years resolution is the same as last year. 1920x1080"

"Did you hear about the time that /u/poem_for_your_sprog and /u/ShittyJokeExplainBot got into trouble? It was a shticky situation. I'll show myself out."

"What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity? Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or ""That'll do pig, that'll do."" I have heard it both ways."

"yo momma so fat the back of her neck is like a pack of hot dogs"

"It's been 50 years since The Jetsons showed us a wacky science-fiction world where you could afford two kids and a house with just one job."

"Who has the biggest ass in the Kardashian family? Kim. She has Kanye."

"What is the first sign of spring? Two rednecks carrying a heater into the pawn shop."

"Men are like curling irons. They're always hot and they're always in your hair."