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Joke of the Day
"What's Santas favorite band? Sleigher."
Next Joke
"An Andrew Dice Clay-esqe bit There was an Old Lady who swallowed a fly. She made $50."
"*walks up to girl working on her laptop in a cafe* So you into computers?"
"What is a Detective's favourite pastry? The Tooth Hurts Donut!"
"Drinking this No More Tears shampoo is just making me sadder."
"When I see something funny on the internet, I don't usually laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual."
"Me: I don't scare easily. Pregnant wife: All four of our daughters will be teenagers at the same time. Me: *never stops screaming*"
"A Mexican with a raging erection walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first? The lawnmower."
"What's Beethoven's favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-naaaaa"
"Zombies..stay away from junk people or you'll gain a shit-ton of weight."