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Joke of the Day

"""Hi, I'm calling for info on your bicycle on Craigslist."" It's heavy, brown, has new shoes, and loves carrots. It's definitely not a horse."

"You guys hear the one about the Middle Eastern guy? He wanted to be a terrorist but then he'd just falafel."

"*pretends to throw ball* *dog runs to chase it* Ha, stupid dog. *dog keeps running, disappears over horizon* Um *dog tackles me from behind*"

"My girlfriend and I tried Anal sex for the first time today. It was a little ruff at first but I'm finally managing to sit down again."

"So Helen Keller walks into a bar..."

"People say the hardest part of the first date is the first kiss. No idea what they mean, the hardest part of my first date was getting her to take the sleeping pills."

"Napolean had a brother But you probably didn't know since they were bornaparte!"

"Hey baby, I'm like Fred Flintstone I can really make your bed-rock. Also I live in a cave and don't have any electricity"

"There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?'' Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says ""GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"""

"Q: What's green, and sings? A: Elvis Parsley"