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Joke of the Day

"People say Tinder users are perverts... ...but I think it's fantastic! I met my girlfriend of 18 months on there. I've been seeing her for a couple of weeks now and it's going great."

"My moral compass just spins."

"Why are computers in Palestine really fast? Because they've got Ramallah."

"What is the pirate's favourite letter? C"

"In INTERSTELLAR, why does Tom's voice get higher when he's older? Answer: thedust"

"Hey ninja turtles, if youre trying to hide that youre turtles maybe dont drive around in a van thats customized to look like a giant turtle."

"I asked my yoga teacher what my purpose in life is she said "" To inspire and then expire"""

"A teacher was fired for not letting kids out at the end of the day unless they gave her fresh coffee. It was grounds for dismissal."

"Just ate a bunch of confetti... Now I'm a party pooper."

"Blonde and a Redhead A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, ""I slept with a Brazilian...."" The blonde replies, ""Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"""