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Joke of the Day

"They say that when you find a spider in Australia... you hear boss battle music."

"When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone... he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris"

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"". Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629."""

"Hooker What did the guy say to the hooker after he was finished? Well I'm going to leave it with you!"

"Judge: Did you deal him a death blow with this custom crafted sword? Me: Yes, your honor, I smelt it and dealt it.. Jury: *giggles*"

"I'd rather have leg hands than arm feet."

"I don't always give her an orgasm, but when I do.. She spits it back at me."

"What's a roosters favorite sport? Professional Cock Soccer."

"Nike is coming out with a line of Air Brady football shoes. They have a built in suspension feature. You just have to let some air out."

"Why can't you surf on microwaves? Because they're too small."