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Joke of the Day

"Cemetery A priest goes for a walk in the cemetery before breakfast and sees a man crouching by a tombstone. The priest says to the man ""Morning!"" He replies ""No actually, I'm taking a shit!"""

"A lot of schools are back in session. Remember if you study hard enough there will still be no jobs when you graduate."

"I once dated a girl that collected magazines. We had to break up because she had too many issues."

"Dwayne Johnson, paper, scissors"

"Boy to Friend: I'm sorry I won't be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework."

"What's the difference between my Grandma and the FBI? My Grandma can unlock an iphone."

"I'll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities."

"What do you get if you boil funnybones? A laughing stock."

"New day, same old bullshit."

"So how do I take the gum out of my hair? Cancer."