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Joke of the Day
"Relationships are like Algebra... You look at your X and wonder Y."
Next Joke
"A new rumor has surfaced that the next iPhone will feature an all-glass exterior. Because why should just the front be cracked?"
"[Sees cute barista] I'll have a quickie. Barista: Sir, it's called an espresso."
"When pigs get a toothache who do they see?' Painless Porker."
"I don't mean to brag, but I'm extremely talented with my lips and tongue. *Whistles The Andy Griffith Show theme song flawlessly*"
"I buy my shoes three sizes too big so if I run into a clown posse I'll have automatic street cred."
"People with egg avatars are the extras having silent conversations that no one pays attention to."
"I quit my job as a taxi driver... I just can't stand people talking behind my back."
"Wife holding bank statement: What's this payment? Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly? M: No, it's just for the one skydive"
"How did the pig get to the hospital? In a hambulance."