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Joke of the Day

"How did the pig get to the hospital? In a hambulance."

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"Why do stoners carry lighters everywhere? Because they don't have legs to walk, man."
"A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire."
"I'd like to thank the British for wearing red coats and making it easier to shoot them 238 years ago. We couldn't have done this without you"
"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff badum tss"
"Viagra shipment stolen... Hardened criminals on the loose."
"Pro Tip: Don't EVER tell a 10yr old boy that you don't ""get"" X-Men. Because. They. Will. Explain. It."
"Why did the farmer feed his cows money? He wanted rich milk."
"How do you get even with Hellen Keller? (Comment your favorite Hellen Keller jokes) How do you get even with Hellen Keller? Leave the plunger in the toilet"
"What do you call a man who's always in high spirits? An alcoholic."