202765

Joke of the Day

"Q: Why do Chinese noodles make the best lovers?? A: Because they are 'Lo Mein-tenance' and they don't won a ton of attention. ...but then again, Italian noodles have great Penne-tration..."

"I shake my head at people's stupidity so often that no one will even notice if I get Parkinson's."

"How to be a white girl: 1.) Get a frappuccino from Starbucks 2.) take a picture drinking it 3.) Instagram it 4.) hash tag 'summerrrrrrrrr'"

"What does Jimmy Buffett's chicken say? It's 5 o'cluck somewhere."

"What's the best way to break in a new pair of shoes? Moonwalking"

"I hate giving good people bad news But I'm a reporter at Fox so all I got is bad news."

"Fruit roll ups I went to the supermarket and asked a clerk if they had fruit roll ups, he then called his gay manager to hug me."

"Who pushed the neonate out an endometrium? Your mom."

"Se7en, but instead of deadly sins, the murders are based on different Smurfs."

"Q: What do snake charmers do in the rain? A: Turn on their windshield vipers."