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Joke of the Day

"If steroids are illegal for athletes, then Photoshop should be illegal for models"

"What's better than winning a gold medal at the special Olympics? Not being retarded"

"My Muslim girlfriend wants to blow me Should I be excited or call the cops?"

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandpa... and not like the rest of the family screaming in the backseat"

"*hires skywriter* YOU CAN'T BLOCK ME"

"My wife left me because she said I made a meal out of everything. I intend to make her eat those words."

"Life is going pretty good for me lately I guess. I just got a booty call last night. It was from life. Apparently it still wants to fuck me."

"Yo mama is so hairy... ...She doesn't have a bush, she has a whole damn rain forest."

"Save the date! Someone is trying to ruin it by having a wedding."

"I just used Oxi Clean for the first time, and it's amazing. I'm starting to think Michael Jackson put it in his bath water."