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Joke of the Day

"My uncles wife is a sex therapist. (Possibly NSFW?) I call her Aunty climax."

"Wife: I'm going to grab some dinner, you want anything? Me: No thanks, I'm stuffed. Wife: Ok, I'm going to Taco... Me: I'll have 9 tacos."

"People with FB statuses like, ""I'm so angry right now"", then when someone says, ""What's up?"" they reply, ""I'll text you."" WHAT ABOUT US?"

"I won 300 million dollars in the lottery and decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. They sent me a letter saying ""thank you for your 25 cent donation""."

"A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back."

"Who never wants to be drawn at a raffle? Mohammed"

"oooooo ....that went deep I was at the drug store buying condoms and the cashier said .... would you like a bag with those sir.... I said... nahh shes not that ugly....."

"People commonly believe that Jesus died a virgin, but I heard he got nailed right before he died. Blasphemy."

"I found a new recipe that's fat free, gluten free, sugar free, dairy free, preservative-free and is non-GMO. It's a real breath of fresh air."

"Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me."