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Joke of the Day

"I won 300 million dollars in the lottery and decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. They sent me a letter saying ""thank you for your 25 cent donation""."

"Telling a girl to calm down: works about as well as trying to baptize a cat."

"GREETINGS MORTAL, YOU MAY ASK ME ONE QUE- ""what's the deal with airline food?"" GODDAMNIT JERRY HOW DO YOU KEEP FINDING THIS CRYSTAL"

"My autobiography would just be a really long Taco Bell receipt."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But I want to know how they got in there."

"Teach a man joke Light a fire for a man, and he is warm for the night. Set a man on fire, and he is warm for the rest of his life."

"A Muslim woman said she likes her mem like she likes her cottage cheese Large kurd"

"My driver's license says I'm an organ donor but jokes on them because I have a piano."

"My sister told me I'd never be able to kill a man with my pasta... ... She soon learned that the penne's mightier than the sword!"

"I added Paul Walker on Xbox, but he spends all his time on the dashboard."