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Joke of the Day

"So a horse comes into a bar... wait crap, I meant a guy... So this horse cums in to a guy (credit to cyanide and happiness)"

"You can't force someone to love you. All you can do is hire a panda suit and wait outside their window reading sonnets."

"Why does no one own an Xbox in Pennsylvania? Because it's always Sony in Philadelphia!"

"How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible."

"Life is like a dick. If it's soft, you can't beat it, but when it's hard, somebody's gonna get fucked."

"A copy of Mein Kampf that belonged to Hitler was sold at auction for over $20,000... to an anonymous presidential candidate."

"The letter R is just the letter P showing off some leg."

"How many punks does it take to change a light bulb? None. Punks never changed anything."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... Buh-dum-sch."

"What did the man who frequents the internet do with a book? He Reddit."