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Joke of the Day

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... Buh-dum-sch."

"Before pulled pork, pork just used to stand on the edge of the dance-floor, nodding to the music and looking cool."

"One night stands in hotel rooms just don't do it for me anymore. That's why I always ask for a bed with two night stands."

"I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex He's a small arms dealer"

"You know you have a weight problem when even your car insults you. It flashes the word ABS at me and won't stop."

"Was at the zoo and witnessed a monkey going to the bathroom. That shit was bananas."

"""so, have you ever done a job interview over the phone before?"" [over vigorous peeing] no, this will be a first"

"Hey baby, did you fall from Heaven? Because so did Satan."

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."

"Did you hear about the lady who walked backwards into an airplane propeller? Disassedher"