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Joke of the Day

"See-saws are too tense..."

"Today I made a boat with a lot of ballast on the hull. It made turning a bit of a *drag*."

"My day has been so awful I keep looking around to see if Nicolas Cage is in it."

"I'm a polymorphic alien... ...and I have taken shape of this text, and at this very moment I am having sex with your eyeballs and by the smile on your face I can tell that you are enjoying it :)"

"What's the most common career choice among spiders? Web development"

"Patient: Doctor! Doctor! My mouth tastes like the bottom of a birdcage! Dentist: Yes, I can see there's been a cockatoo in there."

"Now, if you all will excuse me I'm going into my closet and I'm not coming out until I find something with an elastic waist..."

"Southeast Asia isn't known for their wine. But I'll never say no to a Filipino Grigio"

"If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height? From my head, tomatoes. Hope no one has heard this before, thought of it while driving."

"spraypainting ""CHEATER"" on my car to make it look like im sexually active"