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Joke of the Day

"Now, if you all will excuse me I'm going into my closet and I'm not coming out until I find something with an elastic waist..."

"[fixing your car stereo] Ah here's the problem [ejects Pitbull CD]"

"What color are mirrors? I don't know, let's reflect on this."

"Response to ""LPT: If you ever get cold..."" What if your corner isn't 90 degrees? Well, it just wouldn't be right."

"How does a painter support their art in this economy? Easel-y"

"This guy must really want to impress me with his endurance skills. Because when I asked if he wanted a ride, he said ""No thanks I'll walk"""

"What is the definition of suspicion? A nun doing push ups in a cucumber field."

"Why is it easier for married black men to cheat? Because their ring doesn't leave a tan line when they take it off!"

"Jack, do you think i'm a bad mother? My name is Billy."

"How many Chinese men does it take to make a Smartphone? I dunno, ask the Kids."