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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the one about the witch's broom? It's sweeping the valley.(That one usually floors me, but I'm going to brush it aside before I'm swept away with laughter.)"

"Twat did you say? I cunt hear you."

"Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said ""Neigh"""

"If I ever get kidnapped, my plan is to just talk non-stop about Lost until they see that I'm very annoying, and they return me to safety."

"If there's a sock on my doorknob it means I'm having sex with the other one."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Fucked"

"My mom once told me if I jack off I'll go blind I never saw her again"

"A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist."

"ww2 Russia be like... You better Czech yourself before you rek yourself."

"Wife said since she got bangs she misses her eyebrows. I told her to think of her bangs as one big eyebrow. I shouldn't talk anymore."