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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the one about the witch's broom? It's sweeping the valley.(That one usually floors me, but I'm going to brush it aside before I'm swept away with laughter.)"

"I giveth, and I taketh away. Why? Because I recycleth."

"Why hasn't there been a Mexican Disney Princess? Because everyone would just think it's a quinceanera"

"I went to the movies yesterday, and I met the most insensitive homophobe there I mean, just the mere sight of me masturbating sent him off on a rant about ""morals"" and ""his children"" and ""security""."

"I like my women like I like my dick... ...kept in a dark place and taken out to be beaten every once in a while"

"My exes dying words were, ""you're obviously in one of your moods"""

"New study shows Android phone users are more likely to put out, apparently iPhone users are too busy waiting in a line to have sex."

"Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean. That's probably why the ocean's full of currants!"

"The Energizer bunny as been arrested! He was charged with battery. EDIT: ""H"" key on my damn keyborad."

"Boss: Can you look this up? Me: (munching on donut) Internet's closed. Boss: Oh. Me: Yeah, I think they're vacuuming it or something."