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Joke of the Day

"Just discovered that I'm willing to drive 35mph over the speed limit to prevent a PT Cruiser from passing me."

"Doctor Doctor! my sister thinks she's an elevator. Tell her to come in. I can't. She doesn't stop at this floor."

"What does a cat call its black best friend? Its Maine Coon."

"whats the difference between 3 dicks and a joke? Your mum cant take a joke"

"What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front porch? Paddy O'Furniture"

"Did you hear about the crew members of the USS Enterprise that needed help climbing into their bunks? They were hoisted by their own Picard."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the squirrels that it can be done."

"Why couldn't the octopus take off her bra? It had suction cups."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in Delaware? Don't worry, he eventually woke up."

"[watching lion king] TIMON: hakuna matata ME: *whispering to date* that means no worries TIMON: it means no worries ME: see?"