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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor! my sister thinks she's an elevator. Tell her to come in. I can't. She doesn't stop at this floor."

"Just flew in from a masturbation convention... Man my arm is tired."

"One man's girlfriend is another man's Twitter password."

"Jesus may have walked on water but Steven Hawking runs.. ..on batteries."

"I love to purposefully mispronounce French words, but you need to do it around the right people, otherwise they act like its a huge fox pass."

"I followed this woman on a bike with an empty baby seat for a half a mile yelling, ""your baby jumped out!"" before she gave me the finger."

"What did one testicle say to the other testicle? This guy in middle is a dick."

"What is better than Roses on a Piano? Tulips on an Organ."

"I joined a reggae band playing the triangle. I just stand at the back and ting."

"My teen yelled at me for not waking her up for school. She's in the shower & I'm wondering when she realizes it's Sunday. This is beautiful."