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Joke of the Day

"What does a cat call its black best friend? Its Maine Coon."

"[begin metajoke] What did the drunk Chinese customer say to the bartender? No have to cut me off. Fall off barstool by myself. [end metajoke]"

"I bought a nice 12 year old scotch yesterday. His parents weren't pleased."

"Play-Doh is a wonderful way to teach your children that colorful things will lie to you about their taste."

"I heard they put a supermarket behind Bilbo's hobbit hole... Unexpected item in baggins area."

"You're so vein, you probably think this bloody cut is about you."

"If I work as a janitor at an office, does that mean that every time I change a lightbulb I climb the corporate ladder?"

"Men might stare at your tits and ass, but women buy a latex mold of a pen*s and keep it in their drawer. Who's creepy now?"

"Gets in shower Washes hair Thinks about a tweet Forgets if washed hair Washes hair Gets out of shower Forgets tweet"

"What do your sister and snow have in common? I plow both."