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Joke of the Day

"In the Philosophers prison... I shank, therefore you are not"

"I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister... It was wrong on so many levels."

"How many goals did Germany score? A Brazillion."

"""Ever wonder why Rice Krispies costs the same as quieter cereals?"" why would- ""It's because they're sold by weight-"" Dan, NO ""not by volume"""

"Real Estate Agent: Do you want to look at the model homes? Me: I'm flattered you think I'm a model but I'll just look at the regular homes"

"Why did the contraceptive fly across the room? It got pissed off. . (I'll get my coat...)"

"Just found a yogurt recipe online and the first ingredient was yogurt. That's not a recipe"

"I ate way too many freedom fries yesterday. I had to liberate the toilet for hours."

"I experimented a ton in college. I tried naps in the evening, naps in the morning, sometimes even 3 naps in a row."

"Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side ( )"