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Joke of the Day

"Our WIFI was down yesterday and I spent 45 minutes trying to fix it. Our dishwasher has been broken for 3 weeks and I haven't even touched it."

"What did Jarod from subway get on his first night in jail? A foot long"

"My friend told me he has developed a lung disease... I told him to explain it to me asbestos he can."

"I finally figured out what flies and mosquitoes are for. They're gods way of making us slap ourselves."

"What do you call the sexual tension between Hillary and Bill Clinton? The Bern"

"Why did the feminist get fired from Panera? Because she ate all the cookies and didn't know how to make a sandwich."

"People always ask me why I quit my job as a can crusher... Well it was just soda-pressing!"

"What did the abacus say to the adding machine? Calc you later!"

"""I hate it when you go off on tangents!"" ""I hate it when YOU go off on cosines!"" Irreconcilable trigonometry can kill a relationship."

"If human civilization had a narrator it would just be some guy repeating ""Little did they know..."" over and over and over."