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Joke of the Day

"Why did the feminist get fired from Panera? Because she ate all the cookies and didn't know how to make a sandwich."

"In a car it's illegal to not wear a seatbelt. But I guess if you're on a bus they figure death will be a sweet relief."

"""A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes."""

"Where would you put an injured insect ? In an antbulance !"

"I got thrown out of the zoo today.... apparently you're not allowed to feed the ducks..... to the alligators........"

"Capitalisation It is the difference between ""I helped my uncle Jack off a horse,"" and ""I helped my uncle jack off a horse."""

"Any question is a hard hitting question when it's written on a brick and thrown full force at your face."

"reckon the clouds look down and say, ''look! that one is shaped like an idiot?''"

"When I first met your mom, I fell in love with her because she had a kind face... The kind of face I want to fuck the shit out of!"

"If my wife ends an argument with ""Fine, do what you want!"" I'm pretty sure the words ""If you do, I'll stab you in your sleep"" are implied."