189231

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend asked me to stop singing The Monkees. I thought she was lying, but then I saw her face..."

Next Joke
 
"""I think we should stab other people."" - Masochists breaking up"
"Britain should have written a break up note ""It's not EU, it's me"""
"want a brand new identity when you go back to school? why not change your name to 'Bird Christmas' or 'Crisp Terdass'"
"Why is Donald Trump such a surprise? People did Nazi him coming."
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm coming through your window, I'm under your bed. Thank you"
"*phone rings* Wife - ""Quick! Pretend I'm not in!"" Me - *strips naked and does running man* Wife - ""...."""
"""Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" Probably photos, reflective surfaces, things of that nature."
"What did Captain Kirk find at the end of the rainbow? a LepreKHAAAAAAN!"
"Do you think the rattlesnake is ever embarrassed that he has a stupid baby toy at the end of his string body"