188931

Joke of the Day

"I saved a mans life today. He was choking. So i took my hands off his throat. and said, ""dont make me save your life again and use your blinker next time asshole."""

Next Joke
 
"I'm quite lazy, so I use my toes to pick things up from the ground... ...You could say my feet come pretty handy."
"What's the saddest thing about being a chicken? You only get laid once."
"The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S manufacturing non-competitive... Donald Trump, 2012."
"The world record for enjoying jazz is 48 seconds."
"Saw a boat with a sign that read ""For Sale"" so I added the missing ""-ing""........................ Idiots."
"TIFU by accidentally playing music off of my neighbors speakers. Whoops, wrong sub."
"One hundred bacteria walk into a bar... of soap and get eradicated. There is only one survivor."
"Q: Two men drive into a car wash. Which one is the Irishman? A: The one on the motorbike."
"My mind wants to dance but my body is a really awkward white guy."