50011

Joke of the Day

"Saw a boat with a sign that read ""For Sale"" so I added the missing ""-ing""........................ Idiots."

"COP: drop the gun CRIMINAL: no COP: [flipping through police handbook, whispers to partner] it doesnt say what to do if he says no"

"You guys hear about the pepper shaker that was attacked by the salt shaker? Apparently the salt shaker was arrested and charged with aggravated as-*salt*"

"What's the fastest game in the world? Pass the Parcel in a Belfast Pub."

"Russians dolls. They're so full of themselves"

"Q: What do you have with Dick Cheney, Dick Morris, and Dick Nixon in the same room? NSFW A: Way too much cock and bull."

"Monday Morning......Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off the floor is another story."

"My girlfriend found lipstick in my jacket pocket. I told her straight up I was cheating. There's no way that I was going to confess that I sell Avon"

"My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded"

"I used to be addicted to soap... But now I'm clean."