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Joke of the Day

"ActivityBuddy A new app is sweeping the AppStore, using GPS technology similar to Grindr/ Tinder, ActivityBuddy matches up people who enjoy the same activity. The #1 activity? Anonymous gay sex."

"You always know when your girlfriend is too young for you, when you have to make the aeroplane noise when you stick your d*ck in her mouth!"

"[in bed] her: u have done this before, right? me: yes, of course. righty-tighty, lefty-loosey her: what? me: what?"

"FOX NEWS: ONE WINTER STORM DISPROVES GLOBAL WARMING BUT MORE THAN A BILLION PEACEFUL MUSLIMS ARE AN EXCEPTION TO THE RULE"

"What did the dolphin king say at the funeral of his faithful servant? You have served your porpoise."

"What is a mexican's favourite sport? Cross-Country Running"

"What do Jews call a lone rabbit? A rabbi."

"Me: excuse me, but I can't taste the alcohol Clerk: all smoothies are non alcoholic here. Me: YOU SHOULDN'T CALL YOURSELF A BAR THEN!"

"I had a joke about erectile dysfunction... But I knew you guys wouldn't be up for it."

"""Sir you can't bring a whole cake into a movie theater"" ""What if I cut it in half?"""