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Joke of the Day
"Jesus take the wheel Carlos take the stereo, Manuel get the seats and I'll be the Juan on watch."
Next Joke
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together before God & these witnesses to observe the following: 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19 -Prime Minister"
"[At make-up counter] But does this lipstick come off of a taint?"
"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing with my life in 5 years... I mean, come on, it's not like I have 2020 vision."
"I always feel bad for cantaloupes ... They just want to get hitched"
"Why do the English always carry umbrellas? Because umbrellas can't walk"
"What band was Harambe In? Gorillaz"
"What kind of wine does Bruce Lee pair with a fish dinner? None, he just has some WATAH!"
"Looking for jokes about short people... e.g. My friend is so short he XXX"
"I'm so incapable of accepting a compliment that I've started just flat out refusing them. Them: You look lovely today. Me: No thank you."