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Joke of the Day

"[end of the night]*hand running through her hair, pulls out a lizard* ME: no not again *she unzips jacket, collapses into a pile of lizards*"

"I used to be a head chef. I guess it's just part of being a cannibal."

"If these celebrity stints in rehab were any shorter, they'd be drive-thrus."

"Q: Why was the willow weeping? A: He was unpoplar."

"Hey Green Bay - what are you packing? Meat? Fudge? Of course, if it's heat, my sincere apologies."

"He died doing what he loved most... Correcting my grammar."

"Don't quote me, but I'm pretty sure mint Oreos are filled with toothpaste."

"I once spoke to an extractor fan. He said to me, ""I used to like farming vehicles, but now I'm not so fond of them."""

"Hey guys remember to visit Russia Before they visit you."

"Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding was good, but the RECEPTION was great!"