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Joke of the Day

"It's so awkward when a bird arrives back at its nest and the worms in its mouth realise that wasn't just a free aerial tour of the city."

"This kid at the Bar just told me Nickelback is a better band than Metallica.... Long story short....Send bail money..."

"Very tired of the NSA reading my tweets and not retweeting them."

"Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat."

"Q: What's black white and read all over? A: A newspaper."

"I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness... It came out of the green."

"How does Moses make Coffee? Hebrews it."

"What's black, blue, and red all over? The Grudge at a rave."

"Several ducks were found dead in a playground. Police are suspecting fowl play."

"What should you do if a bird poos on your car? Don't ask her out again"