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Joke of the Day

"So I got a vasectomy today... Doctor walks in and says: ""you're in good hands, I've altered more balls than Tom Brady"""

"What kind of room has no windows or doors A mushroom"

"when life gives you lemons make apple juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it."

"Somewhere in my brain is a tiny gland that blinds me to unwashed dishes."

"I'm gonna screw you blue Said the rapist to Inigo Jones"

"Why do gay barbecues suck? Because the hotdogs taste like shit."

"If David Bowie were alive today... he'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, ""Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"""

"I'm selling a WWII relic.... A beautiful French rifle. It's never been fired and only dropped once."

"(Halloween Party) Friend: What's your costume? Me: I'm dressed as ""A total disappointment"" Friend: But you always wear that Me: Yeah."

"I found out I'm part Native American..... my beard is Apache."