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Joke of the Day

"Somewhere in my brain is a tiny gland that blinds me to unwashed dishes."

"What would you call a terrorist organisation run by wielders of the dark side of the force? ISITH"

"what do you mean you can't deliver pizza to a pillow fort"

"A dyslexic man walks into a bra. ....."

"those damn vegans still drinking water?!?! That's a fish's house, you nasty savages!!"

"The perfect Irish bean stew (In an Irish accent) Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans? Because if you added one more it'd be two farty."

"Scars are tattoos with better stories."

"I added someone as a friend 2 years ago but they haven't responded. They must be really busy."

"A man pushed his wife off a building... I guess you could say they FELL APART!"

"You guys hear about the gay midget? ya, he finally came out of the cupboard."