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Joke of the Day

"How do you catch a bra? You set a booby trap."

"What does a musician use to build a house? A tuba-four"

"I've started wearing a stethoscope around my neck... So, if there's a medical emergency I get to teach people a valuable lesson about making assumptions based on someone's appearance."

"What do you get... What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo, apparently."

"If I was Snow White you'd never be able to kill me with an apple...you'd have to poison an eclair or something..."

"I had a sudden, albeit extremely belated, realization about Jared from Subway His career ended the way it began: trying to get into smaller pants."

"[opens treasure chest & it's full of treasure] Me: whoa Friend: what is it? Me [slowly closing chest]: spiders"

"What does bigamy mean? One wife too many. What does monogamy mean? Same fucking thing."

"Why don't lesbians make good cooks? They're always eating out."

"How did Simba make the Pride Lands great again? He put up a wall"