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Joke of the Day

"Why did the german die from his injuries Because when his friend asked if there is a number to call incase of emergencies like this, he replied ""999""."

"Q: How many republicans does it take to disarm the law abiding public so that the government can enforce totalitarianistic and unconstitutional laws? A: None. The Sociali--Democrats do that"

"I secretly gave our Waffle House waitress a $100 tip and my family can't figure out why she's crying & hugging me & trying to get in our car"

"A Muslim, A Christiana and a Jew walk into a bar, The Muslim blows up the place before anyone could say anything."

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Staple a piece of bread on the ceiling"

"Why does Dr.Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died."

"TFW you wake up and Trump is elected president Going back to sleep now."

"SPELLING BEE: spell ""configurable"" ME: C-O-N-F-I-G-U-R-A-B-- SPELLING BEE: (interupting) yes i am a bee but i fail to see why thats relevant"

"I went into a pesticide shop and asked the owner if he had anything for flies. Stupid idiot shat in my hand."

"A famous pornstar died yesterday. My penis was at half-mast."