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Joke of the Day

"TFW you wake up and Trump is elected president Going back to sleep now."

"My gf said ""tie me up and do what you want"" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar"

"I got pulled over for running a stop sign. The cop says, ""Didn't you see the stop sign?"" Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."

"So let me get this straight: Trump supporters are butt hurt because someone overgeneralized them and called them a mean name? Oh, the irony."

"So are we all just going to pretend that we didn't spend 2001 yelling, ""Whassup?"" at each other?"

"Please don't tell me about your methods of increasing drag on your car It would be a spoiler alert"

"Have you heard the new hipster joke? Yea, I have it on vinyl."

"How did ISIS do on their French test? They bombed it..."

"I've noticed you keep tiny pictures of family members in your wallet. Nice, I didn't know you played. I'm looking to trade my Nana card."

"I wanted to get a Papa John's slice this weekend, but my girlfriend wouldn't want to go there So I referred to it at PJ's and she was all about it until we arrived. Got my slice though."