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Joke of the Day
"Doctor: ""Good news you passed your hearing test!"" Patient: ""HUH"""
Next Joke
"So a roman walks into a bar Lifts two fingers and say ""five beers, please"""
"A speech should be like a woman's skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep it interesting!"
"A friend of mine has a left foot fetish. It's just not right."
"What do engineers use for birth control? Their personalities"
"My girlfriend wanted me to be more flirtatious... So I said, ""I want to make you the 'U' in 'TIFU'"""
"At some point, male ""pick-up artists"" are just going to start chasing women around like Benny Hill."
"Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? ... There was nothing left but de Brie."
"Bath time without my phone: 10 minutes Bath time with my phone: 45 minutes 75 retweets 1 wrinkly baby"
"[annoyed burglar waking me] you still have a VCR?"