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Joke of the Day
"u ever watch a spider build a web and ur like damn and i cant even build a desk from IKEA"
Next Joke
"My ex wife died so I went to the cemetery and to honor her, I poured a fine, 12 year old bottle of scotch on her grave. But first I filtered it through my kidneys. EDIT: Holy crap! Front page!!!"
"Why are magnets so arousing? They're very attractive."
"Who would win a fight between an octopus and a shark? The octopus because it is well armed."
"I was surprised when my psychic friend complimented me on the way I had cooked his steak. ""Well done"" is rare from a medium."
"Fool me Once - Shame on You. Fool me Twice- Shame on Me. Fool me Thrice- What are you, a Nigerian Scamster?"
"Being bitten by a radioactive spider made Peter Parker suddenly fluent in karate & gymnastics...you know, just like a real spider."
"What do you call Benedict Cumberbatch in The Imitation Game? Homogeneous."
"I'm allergic to Everclear. It makes me break out.. Into handcuffs."
"Why do University of Arkansas graduates tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars? So they can park in handicapped spaces."