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Joke of the Day

"Being bitten by a radioactive spider made Peter Parker suddenly fluent in karate & gymnastics...you know, just like a real spider."

"What do you call a crazy judge? Judgemental"

"They said to get in touch with my feminine side. So I did, and my next paycheck was 22% less."

"So a blind man walked into a bar.. It really hurt"

"How many LA cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nobody knows. LA cops just beat the shit out of the room for being black in the first place."

"I'm sorry, your photo is so confusing. You're gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what's going on here."

"I had no shoes and I complained. Until I met a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes."

"A boy goes to the drug store to buy some condoms. 'Do you want a bag?', the cashier asks him 'No', the boy says, 'she isn't *that* ugly'"

"Did you hear about the terrible kidnapping? Yeah. He woke up. :)"

"How do you know if a woman uses a vibrator when pregnant The kid stutters"