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Joke of the Day
"Schroedinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't."
Next Joke
"In the prison shower... If you bend over, you can really hit those high notes."
"[At dinner] Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat? Me: Probably like 90% D: So it's 10% balls? Me: *spits out food*"
"How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb."
"Pineapple Jokes When is an apple not an apple?"
"As I approach 50, my wife suggested I get myself one of those high performance penis enlargers... So I have. She's 25 and her name is Candy."
"These Jehovah's Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant."
"In my defense, my response to her inquiry as to how my day was going was ""I'm less stabby than normal"" not ""Please tell me about your cat."""
"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now."
"Hi, is your resort child friendly? Yes it is sir. Would you like to make a reservation? *hangs up"