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Joke of the Day

"I just read Jared Fogle was assaulted in prison He was also a-peppered and covered in lettuce. Don't know if the story has any meat to it."

"I don't understand all the excitement over Usain Bolt I finish in under ten seconds all the time."

"I just saw a baby wearing a shirt saying: ""Santa doesn't exist, but that's ok, cause I can't read."""

"How much money do terrible movies make? Ridley Scott. Thank you."

"Why aren't there any British Communists? Because communists believe all proper tea is theft."

"What does Hitler and Barney Stinson have in common? They are both legend... wait for it ...aryan"

"What's the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding? One less drunk."

"Why did the little Dutch boy have to register as a sex offender? He kept on sticking his finger in a tyke."

"Yesterday I told someone that I don't like babies? ""Have you tried them with ketchup instead of mayonnaise?"", they asked."

"Why don't they have werewolves in Asia? They get eaten."