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Joke of the Day
"I don't understand all the excitement over Usain Bolt I finish in under ten seconds all the time."
Next Joke
"Why can't you ever see a hippopotamus hiding in a tree? Because they are really good at it"
"[maintains eye contact while slowly rearranging the dishwasher]"
"""Oh sure, they can eat their own poop, no problem. They just CAN'T eat chocolate. It'll kill them."" - God inventing dogs."
"Fully clothed mom just waded into the pool to grab her devil spawn child that was ignoring her. She's my new favorite."
"TIL something incredibly shocking about Germany's former Chancellor... ...he was **literally** Hitler"
"What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't? A bellybutton!"
"Just had to cut ties with the girl I was dating after I found out we both wanted different things. She wanted a relationship and I wanted a better looking girlfriend."
"Christmas Jokes (I know it's a bit late) Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naught girls live! What's the difference between snowmen and snow women? Snow balls"
"What did the customer ask the prostitute when they got to the hotel? Do you come here often?"