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Joke of the Day

"Police arrested two kids yesterday One was drinking battery acid, the other one eating fireworks. They carged one - and let the other one off."

"There are some horrible bastards about I heard a cat crying outside my door and I saw 4 blokes in Chelsea shirts playing football with it I was just about to phone the RSPCA when the cat went 1- 0 up"

"There would be no evil in the word..... if Satan had life alert."

"What do you call fish that taste two times as salty? 2Na"

"*puts on white shirt* *accidentally spills coffee* *takes off shirt* *shoves shirt into coffee pot* *puts on brown shirt*"

"If anyone finds 786 barely used tubes of Chapstick around my city, they're mine. I need them all back."

"So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem... ...comes out of nowhere."

"I was looking for some camouflage trousers earlier... But I couldn't find any"

"NSFW How do you know your best friend is gay? His dick tastes like shit!"

"Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin? A: Some of Stalin's subjects admired him."