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Joke of the Day

"How do you make an eggroll? You push it."

"What do your mom and a hockey team have in common? They both go three periods without a shower."

"I'm gonna call my mom 26 times today to tell her about all the nothing that I'm doing, just to even the score."

"Bruce Willis is never content with how hard he dies."

"Colin Firth has a younger brother named Colin Thecond"

"Remember, YOUR God is real. All those other Gods are ridiculous, made-up nonsense. But not yours. Your God is real. Whichever one that is."

"A male honeybee's only job is to stay in the hive and impregnate the queen... American response: ""Those lucky bastards!"" British response: ""Those poor bastards..."""

"What's the definition of a mere myth? A pirate ship thailing clothe to an itheberg"

"If you have your Twitter account linked to Facebook I don't think you understand what it is we do here."

"Why Is Chemistry Racist? It's very selective. Edit. My first time making a joke. I know I can't make a joke. This is not directed at anyone."