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Joke of the Day

"One of my co-workers just called the elevator a ""vator"". Anyways, long story short, this is my one phone call..."

"How do you help a Jew with ADHD? Send him to a concentration camp."

"Science: I rely on observable data and logic. Religion: I prefer scripture and faith. Astrology: I like turtles."

"Some of the best things in life...are mistakes."

"I once asked my girlfriend if she was a newspaper. Because there's a new issue with her every fucking day."

"What's your favorite clock time? Personally, I'd say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down."

"What did the Frenchman say when he saw a dirty toilet? Eau de Toilette! (eww, the toilet)"

"Two fish are in a tank... Two fish are in a tank when one turns to the other and says, ""do you know how to drive this thing?"

"What's the worst thing about being a Jehovah's witness? Nobody asks, 'who's there?' when you try and tell a knock knock joke."

"How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating? If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline."