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Joke of the Day

"One of my co-workers just called the elevator a ""vator"". Anyways, long story short, this is my one phone call..."

"I was at the airport when I saw a soldier returning home. The first thing he said was, ""look mom, no hands."""

"I may be nodding and smiling, but I'm secretly diagnosing you."

"So my Orchestra conductor keeps telling the Violas to play louder... I guess it just isn't their Forte. ;)"

"I also do all my own stunts, but never intentionally."

"I've started a charity for donating horchata-flavored espressos to deaf Americans in Thailand. It's called the ""ASL Rice Phuket Allonge"""

"""This love triangle is WAY too complicated"" Pythagoras' other woman"

"What's Bill Clinton's favorite Pink Floyd jam? Have a Cigar"

"Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a good chat. Unrelated, there are 1273 Cheerios left in this box."

"What did the baker say to the dough before he put it in the oven? ""You are no longer kneaded."""