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Joke of the Day

"What's Bill Clinton's favorite Pink Floyd jam? Have a Cigar"

"windows 8: i got some updates me: cool windows: i have to restart me: okay not now windows: im going to me: please dont windows: lol"

"What screams, wails, and lights up? A bus-load of babies on fire."

"I think you scientists did a great job of making old people's d-i-c-k-s hard. How 'bout you guys take a look at cancer and stuff now."

"So do people not like it when you tell them they could totally do better after meeting their spouse? Flattery is hard."

"Wanna hear my joke about pizza? Nevermind, it's too cheesey."

"Is that a sweet potato in your pants, or are you just oddly shaped?"

"Whats the worst thing you could say as a doctor? I have over 300 confirmed kills"

"Why does a mother carry her baby? The baby can't carry the mother."

"What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."