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Joke of the Day

"Telling someone ""You are not alone"" can be either extremely comforting or absolutely creepy depending on the context."

"Used lettuce for my burger bun tonight. I've never been more prepared to become your most hated Facebook friend."

"I've never been good when it comes to Greek mythology. It truly is my Achille's elbow."

"I told my 3 year old that Skittles are Care Bear meat and now I have the bag to myself."

"Can February march? April may."

"Who answers the Crime Stoppers Hotline? Stymied Coppers"

"My boss told me: ""Dress for the job you want..."" so there will be a stormtrooper at tomorrow morning's meeting."

"Boss: ""Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life""!! Me: ""Well It got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago 2011 Boss: ""Really""? Me: ""No"""

"Why didn't the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe..."

"Hi! This is my first time in a Fitness Center. How do I start? Personal Trainer: By putting down that Pizza slice!"