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Joke of the Day

"I'm taking my mother-in-law to the new Resident Evil movie because she's staying with me and I love subliminal messages."

"I went to the blacksmiths for a job interview He asked me ""have you ever shoed a horse before?"" I replied ""no, but i told a donkey to fuck off."""

"I didn't know how badly we're losing the war on stupidity til I joined Facebook."

"A subscription to *Time* is not the most difficult concept to get your head around. I've told you: *Time* and *Time* again."

"Why can a penguin never win Best Actor? Because it is part black."

"What do you call an aardvark that writes poems? A bardvark!"

"If you put healing crystals in a sock and beat someone with it do they cancel each other out?"

"People are not mirrors, They see you completely differently than the way you see yourself."

"What do you call a bar in Star Wars? A space bar."

"If you steal ideas from only one person, it is called plagiarism. If you steal from many people, it is called research."