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Joke of the Day

"What if cats are born with names & the fact that we call them names that aren't those names is the reason they act irrationally towards us?"

"Nice try government. But I'm not taking you back until I know where you've been for the last two weeks."

"I kinda want one of those priest collar thingys. If it gets me through airport security fast AND keeps kids away from me. I'm in."

"[NSFW] Never look down on someone Unless you're getting head"

"A coworker wouldn't stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes."

"What's the difference between Obama and Osama? O(b-s)ma^2"

"A son tells his father that the first driving lesson was great. Until the police stopped the stolen car!"

"Most action figures are surprisingly inactive."

"""Yoda, are we supposed to be here?"" ""Off course we are."""

"When I was a kid, I would launch Hamsters and other small rodents in my model rockets. I called it the Gerbil Space Program."