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Joke of the Day
"[NSFW] Never look down on someone Unless you're getting head"
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"Ugly How do you know your the ugly in a couple? I will spell it out for you, U come first..."
"If you had to choose between Bill Gates' money and world peace... ...what colour should your porsche be?"
"A Valentines Poem Roses are red Violets are blue Whitney Houston is dead and iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love yoooouooooou"
"I don't like playing Uno with Mexicans... They always steal the green cards ..."
"Just found out my cat lied about being pregnant just to try and save our relationship and cover up for getting fat."
"My son got sent home from school today for chewing gum in class. I had to phone the teacher and explain to her that he's only trying to give up smoking."
"Ppl at Starbucks are weird. They love it when I bring our chihuahua in a little baby stroller, but get all freaked out when I let him nurse."
"There was once a magical tractor... It turned in to a field"
"Trust me, when they make a pill that REALLY makes your d!ck grow, that commercial will be on during the Super Bowl, not 3am!"