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Joke of the Day

"LION: Lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep. SHEEP: Shaun thinks your mane looks ridiculous. LION: *upset* Shaun said that?"

"What does a pedophile and a turtle have in common? They both wanna get there before the hare does."

"If a threesome is having sex with three people, and a twosome is having sex with two people... I'm handsome."

"What is the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? Ironman is a superhero, Ironwoman is a command."

"My wife was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder... And, just my luck, not one of them likes sucking cock."

"Learned today that it's about 12 min after realizing there's no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are"

"If you want to hide your face, go out naked."

"In the city of Chicago There are 3 streets that rhyme with vagina. Paulina, Malvina and Lunt."

"A husband walks into the bedroom... ... and hands his wife 2 Advils. She says: ""But honey, I don't have a headache!"" ... To which he replies: ""Aha, I got you! Let's have sex then!"""

"The best part of having a banana instead of a cell phone is no one on this plane can actually make me turn it off or stop talking into it."